November 9, 2008

Oh, I'm sorry, did someone let Bill Hicks out of the bag?

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian




10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Anonymous said...

Did you take down the five areas you disagree with your hero on can't seem to find it?

Anonymous said...

Way to go keith, we were planted here by zeta reticulans, shape shifting lizards or that obama will save us all is some how much more believable than the bible??

People like this libtard are so cool and trendy knocking Christianity and the bible, I notice the lack of vitriol directed at islam and the koran, I wonder why??

Anonymous said...

"...what a big fuckin' lizard, Lord!"

Anonymous said...

thanks for the Hicks.

watch this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HD9aysM3Yo&feature=related

scroll to 2:12 for the goodies!

Anonymous said...

My wife said you took down the five areas you disagree with your hero on because they might be considered hate speech under the rules adapted on Nov 4 that you helped enact so it is going to be real interesting to see them all passed in spades and you spinning it all.

Anonymous said...

I liked that. He sort of reminded me of George Carlin a little.

blogger said...

Three words:

Church and State.

I really don't care what religion anyone is. Or if they don't have religion at all. Flying spaghetti monsters, christ, allah, buddah, I really don't care. That's for every person to sort out for themselves.

But when someone tries to LEGISLATE their religion,or takes a state to WAR over religion, then I care. I care very much.

Anonymous said...

"People like this libtard are so cool and trendy knocking Christianity and the bible, I notice the lack of vitriol directed at islam and the koran, I wonder why??"

First off, he's been dead for fifteen years, so if this is a current trend he was waaaay ahead of it. Second, he was not anti-Christian, he was anti-fundamentalism--which includes radical Islam.

Bill Hicks was a believer, as well as a brave and visionary artist, a great man.

Anonymous said...

I notice the lack of vitriol directed at islam and the koran, I wonder why?

Sure, I'll explain. We despise fundamentalist religions in general because they're intolerant of others and start wars over stupid religious crap. However, in America the only strong fundamentalist presence is Christian. That is why we target them. Muslims are irrelevant here. They don't have anywhere near the capacity for damage to our country as fundamentalist Christians do.

Also, it's not so much vitriol as it is the fear that you guys are trying to lead us into the dark ages part two or something.

Anonymous said...

My parents attend a church that preaches that Obama is the anti-Christ and they have tons of biblical 'proof' to back that up. Just ask them.
Also they believe that Hurricane Katrina was caused by God stirring his finger in the air to punish the 'sinners' of that city.
No, I don't want them legislating.

blogger said...

Perfect example of a fundamentalist legislating his religion was Bush's ban on stem cell research.

That one will be overturned on Obama's first day.

Another thing that drives me batty is fundamentalists who want to ban scientists from teaching evolution in the schools. I can't believe in 2008 that there are still people out there who are this level of ignorant and stupid.

You'd think with the internet and access to information less people would remain so incredibly ignorant. I could understand why people in the red states were so blind and dumb before, being so far away from good higher education facilities and information.

But now with the internet, and google, you really have to work at it to remain so ignorant.

I think we're seeing the dying days of fundamentalism though, for all religions. And a strong desire for secular governments, even in places like Turkey and Israel and Iran.

At least that is my hope.

Anonymous said...

Federal dollars keith if you and your hero want to fund stem cell go right ahead put up the tip jar and rename it stem jar but right now I am still looking for the five areas you disagree with your hero on post.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Hicks, Keith.

You are hereby absolved of that Rick-Rolling bullshit ;)

Anonymous said...

gwk - Keith's 5 differences with Obama are under a different paragraph, you big stoooge.
Do you need a map and a flashlight to find your own ass?

Jacob said...

gwk, you're really bad at trolling. Just thought I'd let you know. Keep workin' at it though!

Unknown said...

I think we're seeing the dying days of fundamentalism though, for all religions.

I like to group this behavior in with racism. I think of racism is the modern form of tribalism. It's something that probably served us well long ago when it was possible to determine whether someone was your friend and foe by how much they looked like you. Of course, this completely fails it in the modern world: it leads us to trust the untrustworthy because they have a similar appearance and leads us to mistrust others needlessly.

So, it's not really like an idea that you can just stamp out. It's part of human nature, and rising above it involves fighting your own intuition. As anyone who studies statistics can tell you, the fight against your own intuition can be a difficult one.

Anonymous said...

"Also, it's not so much vitriol as it is the fear that you guys are trying to lead us into the dark ages part two or something."

Some (e.g. Morris Berman) think we're already there! Can't say I disagree.

Anonymous said...

Bill was truly visionary. I'm sure these days he would have a lot to say about Hannah Montana too, being such a big fan of her pa ;) His words still ring true with me all the time.

Anonymous said...

Hey you can try to spin this all you like, bottom line is Christianity is an easy target. Do you honestly believe that he or others of his ilk would be slagging off the bible etc if there was a very real chance of some nutter with explosives strapped to himself walking up to you on stage? No, me neither.

Anonymous said...

Joe has a very good point - that what we call racism is merely a natural defense mechanism to identify our early foes by the fact that they looked 'different' from us. Unfortunately too many of us have never evolved from that system. As Keith has stated, for a long time many of the people living in the 'red states' were isolated from resources and experiences that enlighten. But what can explain the reluctance to let go of this ignorant position, now that the tools of enlightenment are readily available to most of the general population? Is it stubborness? Inertia? False pride? Whatever, it's harmful to them and to the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

But what can explain the reluctance to let go of this ignorant position, now that the tools of enlightenment are readily available to most of the general population? Is it stubborness? Inertia? False pride? Whatever, it's harmful to them and to the rest of us.
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I think it's called InBreeding!

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