February 21, 2009

A Special Soot and Ashes Appeal to the Fashion Designers of the World: GIVE US SHORT SKIRTS DAMMIT!!!




I'm talking micro skirts.

I'm talking hem lines to the cheek.

I'm talking extremely inappropriate, oh-dear-god-can-you-believe-she's-wearing-THAT hemlines.

I'm talking Amanda on Melrose.

I'm talking Twiggy.

I'm talking about sending the women of the world out onto the streets nearly naked, looking like prostitutes short.

I'm talking about the Muslims, Mormons and Baptists having heart attacks short.

THE WORLD WILL NOT RECOVER UNTIL WE GET SHORT SKIRTS!

NOW GET IT DONE DAMMIT!!

(and I'm hoping my female readers take one for the team and lead the charge! And if you find this post insulting or offending, that's your problem)

Hemline/Skirt Length Indicator

This theory suggests that the direction of the economy can be predicted based upon the average length of hems in that year’s new fashion lines. If skirts are short, markets are on the rise. Conversely, if skirts are long, markets are heading down.

The rationale is that longer skirts are worn when general consumer confidence is low, demonstrating fear and lacked spending. When skirts are short, consumer optimism and confidence is high, indicating a bullish market.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

But only the hot chicks......

blogger said...

No, when the fat girls are wearing short skirts, then all will be well again

It hath been foretold.

Anonymous said...

this could be the turning point but not sure how our muslim
brothers might take to this now we just need to get hillary into one of them so hope the request is taken seriously but in the time being onto the show

Anonymous said...

HELL YEA!

Anonymous said...

Yeah!! With short skirts, we will be able to safely say that we can see the bottom!

Anonymous said...

What about the glove?
I say she lose the goofy glove.

Man, too bad I have to work on a Saturday and am actually commenting on this.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't recommend she get too far from a secure environment dressed like that.

Anonymous said...

Take it off

Take it all off

Anonymous said...

"I love this blog"

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very funny... thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

The body of a child.

No thanks.

Bukko Boomeranger said...

To amplify what Schlitz said, you overlook the potential for eye damage due to the rampant obesity of American women. And if the chavvy nurses we've gotten from the UK are any indicator, the same applies to Old Blighty.

Now Aussie chicks are hotter, as a whole -- that tanned, athletic, tennis-y look they have here. But New Zealand girls are even cuter. What is it about such a queer small island that turns out so many fresh-looking young ladies?

Lost Cause said...

Burka weather?

Lost Cause said...

Just look at what they are wearing in the new 51st state of Afghanistan.

Anonymous said...

The REALTWHORES could wear that to get some stupid sucker to buy a house hahahahaha

A stupid horny toad would drool and sign the dotted line no problem.

Anonymous said...

Git 'er done!

I have always been long on short skirts.

Anonymous said...

Just to reinforce my theory that the US is going through an historical shift in consumer behavior.

NYT - When Consumers Cut Back: A Lesson From Japan:

http://tinyurl.com/dbe5ls

Anonymous said...

she needs to lose some weight

Anonymous said...

Good on yah, Keith!

One of my old teachers used to drop this nugget: "An essay is like a mini-skirt: you want it long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting."

Anonymous said...

"But New Zealand girls are even cuter."

Ok Bukko, for once I concur with your observations.

Anonymous said...

How 'bout some Daisy Duke style "cut off" denim shorts.

We'll all be living in a virtual trailer park anyways.

Anonymous said...

It's fashion week in NY and I'm finding a lot of the clothes look like what I wore from '73 through '76. Yup, recessionary. They're cute...even the 2nd time around, but most of the skirts are knee-length, longer at Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren. Actually, the long and lean looks of the '30's and '70's are flattering.

If it's any consolation, the friends of my daughters' are fascinated by 80's looks...big tops and leggings.

It looks like the newest fashion is behaving according to theory. Sorry...

Anonymous said...

Give us short skirts...


Have you seen the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue,

No skirt but damn little else!

Anonymous said...

Short skirts means people have lost any concept of reality. Why do we want a bullish market?

I want the markets to crash. I want people to get burned.

Anonymous said...

.




WHY, SO THE GIRLS CAN ALL BE THROWN OUT OF SOUTHWEST FLIGHTS?



.

Anonymous said...

No.. No..No.. You have it all wrong. From my observations, the females are going all out. Not only are the skirts shorter, but the hair is blonder… and the makeup is caked on thicker.. I guess their douche bag, fake rich, ex mortgage broker TapouT shirt waring, truck with big ass tires but you live in the city driving, boyfriends are no longer able to provide.

I love this economy.

God Save The Queen

Mitesh Damania said...

Conservative wear looks the best anyways. It's much more inviting.

Anonymous said...

Bukko, you have never touched a hot chick in your life. Do not speak of things you simply cannot understand. Got to go, the girls are getting ready for a little hot tub rodeo.

Anonymous said...

No, not the fat chicks, that is unthinkable......

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm seeing just the opposite behavior in my hometown (South OC, CA). The "ladies" are letting it all hang out hoping to attract their next sugar daddy. It's only a matter of time before a thong and tassles for the ginormous fake boobs is the standard attire.

Case in point: Tamra from the OC Housewives who lives in my town (along with all the other trainwrecks on this show). It was not too long ago that she was a frumpy housewife, hanging out at the neighborhood block parties with her bratty kids and boring husband Simon. Now, you see her on the show, half the time she's either in a teddy from Fredericks or her monstrous fake boobs are hanging out of her tiny blinged out outfit. Her dream now is to pose in a "hot, over 40"
Playboy spread. So special. Her kids will love that, I'm sure.

In the South OC, as the economy goes, so do the clothes.

Anonymous said...

I am thinking more in the line of codpieces. It certainly would be nice to see a well endowed crotch with so many pencil dick bloggers out there. Gramma

Anonymous said...

I am thinking more in the line of codpieces. It certainly would be nice to see a well endowed crotch with so many pencil dick bloggers out there. Gramma

Anonymous said...

I've been seeing a lot of cheeks lately...and it's cold as h*ll up here!
Bless you, Keith! :)

Anton Chiguhr

Anonymous said...

the glove is for slapping naughty bankers.

Anonymous said...

'In the South OC, as the economy goes, so do the clothes."


WTF is the economy of OC based on? Where do they get the freakin' money.

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