April 24, 2009

The banks are finding out the results of their 'stress tests' today. What do you think the results will be?


What will it be?

A) Everyone passes! Party time!


B) Goldman Sachs and the big boys do fine. Bunch of other ones in a heap of sh*t

C) They all fail and get more government cheese


Now guess the market's reaction

A) Everyone passed! Party time! Buy buy buy!!!

B) Everyone passed? Are you kidding me? We're not THAT stupid. Sell sell sell!!!

C) Uh-oh, the banks are failing. Sell sell sell!!!

D) OK, some pass, some fail, it's not that bad. Kinda what we expected. Hold tight.

'Stress test' methodology could roil some banks

WASHINGTON – The Federal Reserve says the government is prepared to rescue any of the banks that underwent "stress tests" and were deemed vulnerable if the recession worsened sharply.

The Fed says the 19 companies that hold one-half of the loans in the U.S. banking system won't be allowed to fail — even if they fared poorly on the stress tests.

The tests are intended to measure whether banks have enough capital to withstand losses on mortgages and other assets if unemployment rises and home prices fall further.

Investors had feared the tests would highlight some banks' vulnerability to failure.

41 comments:

borkafatty aka the pig said...

I like a hybrid of A and C. Everyone passes, party time, OooooooBammmmy! doles out extra gummit cheese just in case.

Market continues to rally in spite of the fundamentals as it has for the last 6 weeks because the Casino is rigged.

keith said...

Hot off the wire. I like the word "most". That doesn't mean "all" of the 19. It means 10 or more.

Stay tuned...

http://www.cnbc.com/id/30385838

Most Banks Have Enough Capital After Stress Tests: US

The Federal Reserve, releasing details of how it conducted "stress tests" on the nation's 19 largest financial institutions, said “most banks currently have capital levels well in excess of the amounts needed to be well capitalized."

But the banks need to hold a "substantial" amount of capital above regulatory requirements to weather a potential worsening of the economic recession, the eagerly awaited report said.

The report said the tests are a “forward-looking exercise designed to estimate losses, revenues and reserve needs” under two different macroeconomic scenarios, including an adverse one.

Reaction to the criteria and methodology of the tests was muted.

James Paulsen of Wells Capital Management, for instance, was underwhelmed.

Paulsen says he "didn't have great expectations" in the tests, and was expecting to "find out most the banks are OK, which is what we knew going in."

Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) called the tests "a good idea to evaluate the strength of the banks and publicize it" because "there is anxiety out there."

Anonymous said...

they will all pass just fine.

problem, what problem?

Anonymous said...

Everyone gets a trophy!

RICO said...

"B) Goldman Sachs and the big boys do fine. Bunch of other ones in a heap of sh*t..."

GS wins, of course.

They are in the catbird seat due to their ability to preview the results.

We can be sure they've already established/implemented their trading strategies based on their insider information.

The stress tests also allowed them to peek-under-the-skirts of potential takeover targets.

With their taxpayer-funded buyout *war chest* bursting at the seams, look for a spate of M&A activity resulting in more consolidation in the banking sector.

Fewer players = bigger profits

casey said...

All will pass when the govt gives them free cheese!!!!!!!!

The govt will electronically credit their accounts and all will be fine.Carry on minions.

Anonymous said...

The stress tests are a whitewash. What we need is transparency into the core of the problem - The Fed.

Ron Paul might be out of favor with you now Keith. He's not fashionable in your mind but put all that aside and help push for transparency at the Fed:

HR 1207 : Federal Reserve Transparency Act-Gonzo

Wind Farmer said...

"The presidential office has been used to establish a conspiracy to destroy the freedom of the American people, and before leaving this office, I must inform the citizens of this critical condition."

Kennedy just 10 days before he was killed. University of Columbia, 12th Nov. 1963.

Also,
Here's a 5 minute speech by JFK on Freedom of the Press.
I find it chilling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlghYpDx0f4

Ross said...

Anonymous 7:40 PM said...
Everyone gets a trophy!

Hahaha. Will Uncle Ben break out with orange wedges and Hi-C to celebrate?

vanilla ice said...

It's B) Goldman Sachs and the big boys do fine. Bunch of other ones in a heap of sh*t

and

A) Everyone passed! Party time! Buy buy buy!!!

And the Treasury department is happy, big banks are happy, what's on TV tonight? I'd being doing pretty well too if the Fed and Treasury came along and took care of all the debts I couldn't or didn't want to pay.

will shill for coin said...

Flu outbreak in Mexico. You can bet your ass the CDC is already down there working on bringing it to an immediate termination.

Yep, just some moron Americanos excercising americano greed wearing a CDC badge.

Fuck you America haters!

George L said...

anyone here playing "musical chair" with financial stocks?

the music is about to stop.

Anonymous said...

Everyone passes, no one is in trouble! WTF?! Are you kidding me?? How stupid do you think we are??

Anonymous said...

Here is the reality.


http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Global_Economy/KD24Dj02.html?ref=patrick.net

Now back to our regularly scheduled comedy or uh show.

Anonymous said...

Since it's all rigged:

A & A

They want the sheep to come back to the market again, so the crooks on Wall Street can fleece them again.

Does anyone believe anything that comes out of the Fed, mainstream media, Washington, Realtors, and Wall Street?

IT'S ALL RIGGED TO STEAL YOUR MONEY.

Anonymous said...

MOAR cheeze!

Anonymous said...

Whatever happens a safe bet is that the taxpayer gets Fucked again.

America, Nation of Nothing and Corrupt Nobodies.

bye, bye......... said...

Dont worry bankers. The fed's printing presses are using top speed technology. 12,000 $100 dollar bills per second!

I just hope to find my next job soon. I may need to apply for cheese stamps Monday.

My bank account is - $87.64. I'm sooooooooo screwed!!!!!!!

duarte said...

I predict another big slide is coming, regardless of what they say. Get ready for a bad summer. Probably sooner than July. Just wanted to go on record

Anonymous said...

"...the government is prepared...if the recession worsened sharply..."Now there's a good laugh. We've known for decades that Social Security and Medicare are going to detonate in the next 20 years, and spent the money anyway.

But we're very well prepared for this unlikely possibility...

BULL. They absolutely know how dire it is, and are incrementally adjusting us all.

...CDC officials described the virus as having a unique combination of gene segments not seen in people or pigs before. The bug contains human virus, avian virus from North America and pig viruses from North America, Europe and Asia.

Health officials have seen mixes of bird, pig and human virus before, but never such an intercontinental combination with more than one pig virus in the mix...

JaneZ said...

Has anyone ever seen a copy of the "stress test"?

Sort of like a test given in Special Ed Class that is based on the curve?

Dogcrap Green said...

Yeah, and we will get to keep most of our money....

Face it Obama is America's number one enemy.

Anonymous said...

Who the hell believes any thing they say anymore

Anonymous said...

"The Afghan people do not take kindly to conquerors,"You cannot make this stuff up!

Sure was fun training bin-Ladin and the List(database) of Mujahaddin to kick the Soviets' asses. Sorry about welching on the rebuild thing; you know how it is.

Did it again 15 years later. How'd it work out for us?

About as well as strong-arming Iran into the Shah.

Anonymous said...

Edwina Nowlin, a poor Michigan resident, was ordered to reimburse a juvenile detention center $104 a month for holding her 16-year-old son,” the New York Times wrote in an editorial.

“When she explained to the court that she could not afford to pay, Ms. Nowlin was sent to prison
http://dissidentvoice.org/2009/04/guilty-of-being-poor/

Anonymous said...

"Health officials have seen mixes of bird, pig and human virus before, but never such an intercontinental combination with more than one pig virus in the mix..."

Sounds like something the Feinstein-Pelosi-Boxer nexus might mutate...

Douchebage IMHO.

Anonymous said...

I heard on the radio the other day that all the major banks will be judged okay.

From what I've read and heard, the stress test is DESIGNED in such a way to MAKE SURE the major banks don't get a failing grade. You know, sort of like how the tests are in grade school and high school? I guess the dumming down of our educational system is reaching it's final outcome: the dumming down of auditing, financial regulation, accouting principles, etc.

Effect on stocks? If Wall Street things main street is paying attention to this news and will jump in, and if main street does jump in, then the market will pop higher for a short time; but it will be the last gasp of this bear market rally because once Joe the Plumber is all in, the big boys will jump out and leave him holding the bag as we head back toward Dow 6000.

Tyrone said...

Most Banks Have Enough Capital After Stress Tests: US

Immediately following the release of the stress test results, the heads of all the banks could be found in local coin shops buying gold bullion coins in celebration.

Anonymous said...

.




Excellent Celente on Alex Jones:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj322s19kpc



.

never_forget_y2k said...

...CDC officials described the virus as having a unique combination of gene segments not seen in people or pigs before. The bug contains human virus, avian virus from North America and pig viruses from North America, Europe and Asia.
Talk about a head fake!! all this time we were worrying about Man-Bear-Pig, only to be taken down by a surprise outbreak of Man-Bird-Pig-Virus!!!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, EVERYONE GET IN YOUR BUNKER AND DON'T COME OUT FOR TEN YEARS JUST IN CASE!

never_forget_y2k said...

PS, this is fun to sing along to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yge311sFhC8

i've had it said...

The answer: C.

The Feds would give a clean bill of health to all the big banks - even though they are ALL bankrupt - if they could get away with it but they know they can't. So, they will say most are OK and then throw their critics, like S&Aers, a bone by saying some failed.

Of course, they have already set the stage for this by announcing no big bank would be allowed to fail. So, the stress test is just more bullshit. The Feds had always planned to save any bank that they think is dead. The ones that they say are ok are bankrupt too, but the Feds will bail them out in some way too.

Look, it is all charade. It's all to convince the public that they, the Feds, are doing something to stablize the economy and to bring back confidence to joe six pack.

Mike H. said...

Sell into this rally. You'll be happy you did. I am with my measily $230K trading portfolio.

Get ready for the next round of "we couldn't have anticipated this coming" when financials implode later and are forced to come back to the taxpayer yet again for another 'top up'.

Geithner will continue to stay in office. Obama will say "I am accountable" then make more bad policies. More media coverage of his spawn and White House pet plus some more shirtless photos of him at the beach and Michele in a new designer dress plus tevas. You know how she loves to break the rules.

Oh and Obama will talk again about making 'tough choices' as his administration brutally f*cks the taxpayer, yet again, with out consideration or lubrication.

It hath been foretold.

-Mike

Anonymous said...

And th CDC is on top of it.
http://www.cdc.gov/flu/swine/recommendations.htm

Anonymous said...

Four more banks made it on the FDIC failed bank list this week.

That makes 29 banks so far this year.

http://www.fdic.gov/bank/individual/failed/banklist.html

First Bank of Idaho
First Bank of Beverly Hills
Heritage Bank
American Southern Bank

xxxooo said...

like everything the government does, "the results will promote its agenda."

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with you people? Don't you realize we need to keep the banksters happy with their exotic European car collections, their private jets, their mansions in the Hamptons so that they can keep credit at loan shark rates flowing???!!

What? You think you could save that money yourselves?? You've got to be joking! You NEEEEED that credit like a junky needs that rock of crack!!

Come on! It's for your country damnit!! Get back to work and make more tax money for the bankers. Save a banker today for God's sake.

It's a matter of NATIONAL SECURITY!!!

-Gonzo

Anonymous said...

Best stock/401k joke spotted lately:

Don't sell, but do a better job of stock picking."...Investors are going to see that...their account still went down...will need...encouragement and advice to...keep on investing...

...you'll want to look at the specific funds in your portfolio...This process, can help you spot any true laggards and...improve performance...

...There could be things happening inside a fund...managers could have left, for example..."

JUMP YOU FUCKERS. :^D

"...studies have shown that more than half of a portfolio's return is determined by allocation...If you could just get...in the same ballpark as a model portfolio...You would do yourself a world of good.""

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
Four more banks made it on the FDIC failed bank list this week.

That makes 29 banks so far this year."

Your government at work? Stress Test?

You still trust the government?

Asshole.

wallstreetvet said...

D) OK, some pass, some fail, it's not that bad. Kinda what we expected. Hold tight.

Why?

The Fed's extreme economic conditions, the stress, is a walk in the park and not an extreme example of what could happen. So the pros out there know the tests are sort of a joke.

Anonymous said...

As I've said previously, I'm suffering a bi-polar dysfunction in this market. Half cash and half in hi-risk. I just can't help myself.
The battle is on...unfathomable net interest margins v charge-offs...@ these, the survivor banks.
I'm in the game, but no C.
Time will tell.

Anton Chiguhr