June 11, 2009

Here's USNews and World Report's Top 10 Places to Live United States (with my pithy commentary)

1. Albuquerque, N.M. (don't mind the drunk Indians in the road)

2. Auburn, Ala. (Squeal like a pig!)

3. Austin, Texas (Some Texans actually do hate Bush, smoke pot and wear Birkenstocks)

4. Boise, Idaho (Dammit! Now everyone knows!)

5. Durham, N.C. (Did you see the size of that mosquito?)

6. La Crosse, Wis. (Oh, crap, it's 1PM, time to get up)

7. Loveland, Colo. (is the town's one restaurant open yet?)

8. San Luis Obispo, Calif. (Get out of the way gramps! We're doing beer bongs!)

9. St. Augustine, Fla. (Mixer tonight for under-100's)

10. Upper St. Clair, Pa. (where?)


edd browne said...

California, Florida, Alabama . . .
Nyet; Nyet; Nyet !!!

Anonymous said...

Austin, Tx????

It's the Berkeley of Texas

or Madison

Anonymous said...

What do you expect from an area where the bumper stickers say,



Anonymous said...

interesting they've picked cities that will be most/earliest affected by climate change.

Anonymous said...

The Red light runner capital of the world Phoenix didn't make the list :-(

LT Harley said...

Durham, NC??? Maybe for criminals.


Paul E. Math said...

And now congress wants to give everyone, no matter what your income, no matter whether you're a first time buyer or not, $15k to buy real estate.


Your children and grandchildren will pay people making 6 figures + to buy a mcmansion in austin, tx.

Co-sponsored by? Who else, Chris F-ing Dodd.

Anonymous said...

ABQ? Has anyone ever BEEN to ABQ? I've travelled there quite a bit for work, and I would definitely put it on the BOTTOM of the list of places I'd like to live. What a depression, dirty, dusty place to live...

Soft Landing said...

Austin and Durham are the only places w/ any jobs. Of course those jobs are unproductive, government funded, high paying jobs that shouldn't really exist.

The rest of those places are retirement communities.

casey said...

what about phoenix?Az is a great state.Watch out for all who drive without insurance.

Anonymous said...

Keith you've obviously not been to most of these places. Durham NC for example does not have a significant mosquito problem. Gang activity, yes. But not skeeters.

Dave said...

FYI- Upper St. Clair is a upper middle class suburb of Pittsburgh

Rhymes with Shunt said...

"1. Albuquerque, N.M. (don't mind the drunk Indians in the road)"
Please be more specific.

Did you mean Dot or Feather?

Banana Republicrat said...

In the next issue...

"JK America! The top 10 places to live are actually Westport, CT; Belvedere,CA and eight other places you don't have a prayer of affording. Sleep tight and enjoy the "Top 10 Public Schools" issue!"

El Loco said...

Hope you live,
where you'd love to live.

Anonymous said...

I live in Albuquerque. It is a good place to be most of the time. No drunken Indians. Not sure why you would say that. Other parts of the state do have high DUIs. Generaly, the Native Americans are kicking ass with the casinos.


Guberville Smack said...

Drunk Indians is not the problem in Albuquerque. With 44% Whites and 44% Spanish population, one of the lowest education levels and highest crime rates, this dump is becoming East LA revisited.

If this is the top spot in the US, then we really are screwed.

Beautiful zoo though. Maybe I could talk them into letting me live in a cage there, to protect me from all the human animals.

swannster river said...

Spent, America after consumerism.


Nimesh said...

Honolulu, Hawaii. Need I say more?

Beautiful blue skies, abundant sunshine, perfect beaches, friendly people, etc....

But then again, I am a Chicagoan and our weather here sucks.

Anonymous said...


Ladies and Genitalman; May I present the next President of America: (makes you want to)Pierce Bush.

If you missed him with Campbell Brown, you ain't livin'.

Anonymous said...

Upper Saint Clair is a suburb of Pittsburh. Oakmont which is on the other side of Pittsburg is also very nice. Small town feel, close to everything, relatively safe. The famous colf course Oakmont Country Club is in this town.

keith said...

Last time I was in Albuquerque honest to god I saw drunk indians passed out in the street - down in the old town.

Last time I was in LA a bum flipped a booger at my car window

Last time I was in NC on a humid summer day mosquitos everywhere

Last time I was in Wisconsin I wondered what people did there

Last time i was in St. Petersburg I thought they should film a movie - land of the old people

Last time I was in Boise I fell in love (with the town)

To each his own

Not a very good top 10 list. Here's 10 for starters (in the US)

Ann Arbor
Ft. Collins
Santa Barbara
Iowa City

In Europe:

Florence (winter only)

casey said...

I hear the indian casinos are booming.People are depressed and gambleing more than ever.Maybe we should just keep building casinos so the state of california can make some more money and balance the budget.Arizona has been taken over by indian casinos.If you are smart stay home and take some prozac and save a few bucks.

Anonymous said...

Boise+ Pure shitbowl

Anonymous said...

Iowa City, Iowa?

Are you nuts? They have a hard time even getting email in & out of there.

....unless maybe you want to live in a third world setting....

les said...

Best place in the world


The Orange Man said...

Calabasas, California.

It is where all your dreams can come true.

Anonymous said...

Anon June 12, 2009 5:53 AM:

Actually Iowa has high-speed fiber all over the place. I was in the middle of nowhere picking up an antique tractor and the guy had fiber. To his house.

I see a lot of posts in this thread that stereotype people or places. It's sad, really. I can really see why people think the world is going to hell. Wherever you go there you are. And you are miserable.

JAWS said...

Yea, heard it all before - Albuquerque - the place where you can get a new or slightly-new single family house built right smack dab on an arroyo, I think that's what they call it. That's the "wash" where floods "used" to rush down but now the home builders have slapped housing tracts on them.

I was there 2 years ago and drove around that area. All, like ALLLL, the streets and driveways are cracked to sh*t. You can't pave over an arroyo. Arroyos rule.

Albuquerque? Where you can't buy wine on Sunday? Not me. Sunday is the most important wine BBQ of the week.

Virtue Rewarded said...

I lived in Upper Saint Clair for 6 years. It is an excellent place to raise children - safe, green, friendly and middle American. Glad to see it made the list.

I have lived all over the US(NYC, Tx, Boston, NJ, NH etc) and in Spain, France and the UK; Upper Saint Clair may not be as sophisticated as some places, but he quality of life is VG. You should visit a few of these places, before you shoot your mouth off.

I am always amazed at the BS crap Euros pick up from their media regarding life in the US. The misapprehensions can be ridiculous. Like the Spanish lady who, upon hearing my daughter was going to University in Canada, said, "good, she won't be shot" ---because, if you listen to Michael Moore , that's a big danger here in the US.

You are sooo guilty of Euro-type stereotyping. You need to come home.