January 24, 2009
This video is getting even better and better with age.
They should make a movie about this couple, and their wonderful realtor on commission Suzanne.
I'd pay five bucks to see it.
I just want to see what happened to fatty.
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Ending caption:
"Agents of Change"
They got that right!
I know what happened. Fatty's name is Chuck. Chuck dropped all of his savings into an ARM loan to get the home his wife wanted(but wasn't paying for) and Chuck, sensing that he wouldn't get laid again in the forseeable future if he didn't do so, caved, giving his demon realtor a fat commission check meant for the kids' college fund. Fast forward: Chucks' house was foreclosed on, and his wife left him, for Jim, a realtor who had gotten rich selling shmucks like Chuck terrible loans. Chucks' kids now call Jim "dad" and Chuck "Chuck". Chuck has since turned to the booze, lost his job and is now trying to scrape together the funds to get his MBA so he can be considered for a Subway assistant manager position.
"I just want to see what happened to fatty"
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No doubt he ends up skewered from head to a$$ on a green bamboo stake, his fat oozing and popping over the white-hot charcoals.
Suzanne says, "Now let me get to work." Yeah, let me get to work finding a sleaze bag loan officer to have drinks with later and set you up with a back-breaking liar loan so that he and I can make a few thou off you, you poor shmuck.
We can do this (to you)!
At the end of the movie the snapshot captions will read:
The wife is now happily married to a democratic senator from Connecticut.
Suzanne went on to a career as personal secretary and advisor for Ken Lewis.
And Fatty is living in cardboard box where he gives handjobs for crack.
Fatso is Dead.
He killed himself by overeating cheese doodles and fried dough with sugared cola at Wal-Mart.
Massive hear attack with diabetic overtones.
Wife is currently shopping for New Husband-Sucker using the line 'We can do this" in the personal ad...
www.nomarriage.com
Short shelf life, Cougars. Go For IT!
Would it surprise you if Suzanne ended up found mysteriously Dead?
Think about it, REIC.
DIE.
And to further ComeBack_Kid's story...
With Chuck's X out of the picture, Chuck wanders into the local strip joint one evening only to fix his gaze on a sensuous new pole dancer. All be it, she appears a bit weathered from crack cocaine use.
He's seen her before, but where? Then it occurs to him. Her name is -Suzanne. And a strange new affair begins...
Suzanne for Fed Chairman.
We can do this!
My dislike of real estate agents is lifelong; it didn't take new millenium easy money for me to realize how worthless they are. I remember the realtors trolling around my family's summer place in the 60s when my grandfather died. They were hoping to lure my father to some easy money. Can you believe that they would peel out rolls of $100 dollar bills, thinking this would encourage my dad to sell a property worth $200,000+ in the 60s? It's always a big joke at family get-togethers. In fact we have a nick-name for one of the realtors," Bottles"; his real name was Battles and you can figure the rest.
Well, we held on, still have the place, which has exponentially increased in value, and now my dad is 95 and when he goes I expect a parade of too slick, marginally-educated, good looking idiots to come around again. Only this time my dad has it locked up in trusts so tight, going clear to the next generation, which includes a 2 year old, that we would be loathe to change anything, penalties notwithstanding. In fact my dad wanted to control it to the generation that is not even born yet. Lawyer brother had to explain that was a no can do.
It's sort of the opposite of the way people think today. My dad wants to give something to his descendents, including those not born yet, versus wanting to take from your descendents in the form of deficit spending.
There isn't a week that goes by that he doesn't tell me to never sell. Collateralize it, lease it, but never sell. The property is better than a bank. And when there are riots, we have 50 acres and a fresh lake where no one can find us!
Never trust a realtor!
Well, there were pictures of some realtors standing in line for food at the homeless shelter over Thanksgiving. I mean, they told the reporter they were realtors.
Other realtors I've talked to haven't had a sale in months. \
LOL, was puttering around looking at houses(er falling knive's) to buy, and ran across a bunch of them (the people who finished one year of technical school, got bored, and made hundreds of thousands of dollars off those cute dimples and million dollar smiles). Of course I'm nice to them.
All to say, if Chucks wife ran off with a realtor (maybe Suzanne), they are probably doing dollar-jobs in Vegas.
Chuck's brother helped him out and he met a NICE girl, who is into helping the homeless and building habitat for humaity houses. And that's what he's doing these days.
He's just fine.
Oh, and ANOTHER great thing about being stuck in a money-pit. Even tho your house has decreased substantially in value, your property taxes will double every year!
Just bend over.
Oh, and ANOTHER great thing about being stuck in a money-pit. Even tho your house has decreased substantially in value, your property taxes will double every year!
Just bend over.
Not really, if you're smart enough to play the rigged system:
* Buy a cheap home for cash or take tax credits from Barney Frank to stick part of your housing cost to liberal taxpayers. Let them subsidize your house. I'm waiting for the $25k credit, but the current $7,500 is good enough.
* Hedge your property tax costs by investing an appropriated amount in ETF's that are correlated to property tax increases. I do the same for fuel expenses. For instance, while everyone was bitching about gas prices last year, I couldn't care less since my gas bill was properly hedged. I also do the same with food costs.
Don't ask me about which ETF's; go look for them like I did, spoiled whiners. I have another great strategy to cut house insurance costs, especially in natural disaster prone areas.
That's my x-mas gift to you.
Had our bi-annual look around at NoVa resale houses this morning.
Realtor is a personal friend, so feel obligated to "throw him a crumb" that we are still looking eveey couple of Months.
Homes are cheaper, but really need to drop another 20% or so, as is predicted for 2009 in this area.
Realtor kept talking about "getting a Contract this week and another one coming today - heh, heh, things are picking up heh heh.
Yeah right, we'll look again in a few Months...maybe by then Obama will pass that 25K incentive to buyers...
Oh God, I always laugh my ass off every time I hear "Suzanne researched this". It is amazing though how much faith people still have in their "real estate professionals" and "financial adviser professionals". For example, a co worker bought a house in Spring of 2008 because he got such a great deal and his realtor told him "now is the time to buy Jim, don't miss this tremendous buying opportunity". He bought a ranch home that is 1700 square feet for $445,000. I told Jim not to do it and showed him all of the data. But he didn't listen. He also listened to his financial adviser and bought bank stocks and index funds because "now is a great time to buy".
Oh pity the foolish person who refuses to listen to the most important person in financial matters- him or her self.
"This listing is special."
What's so special about it, other than the two-car, nay, three-car, garage?
Does it have an observatory? Stevie Wonder's basement studio? Bowling alley? Is it made entirely from embalming fluid bottles?
I'll bet you a fridge magnet it's a standard-issue suburban split-level or ersatz "colonial".
"And the schools"
Because in America, for some reason we are incapable of making all schools of equal high quality. But who cares about anyone else's kids? Let 'em rot in crap schools, it's the American Way.
Fatty's name is John. He is my step son. It was the garage that nailed him. Really. Listen to it again. It IS John. Of course we blame her, but the garage is pretty kick ass. Too bad he spent all the money on her upgrades and couldn't finish the basement. He is an Engineer. He has CAD drawings out the wazoo of the perfect basement, but he can't do it himself, and he can't afford (what he considers) the lower class individual that can.
Sorry to upset you but there are thousands of Realtors doing just fine re-selling fattys house as a reo.
The Story Continues with a happy ending......
After the wife got the house she dumped the chump sued for full custody, child support and all marital assets. Chumpy tried to fight this but wifey obtained a restraining order which chumpy, of course violated and was thrown in county jail and was ganged raped several times. Eventually wifey won everything and had their former landscaper move in for "special services" while making moves on the daughter. Chumpy no longer sees the kids and is currently being garnished for full support, medical, and daycare.
Two years latter, Chumpy loses his job as VP of whatever at some local bank and falls into serious arrears. He is immediately arrested and is serving 1 year in county for failure to pay child support. In the meantime, the former landscaper decides its time to split since the easy child-support money is longer comming in and the kids are begining to rebel against him. Wifey gains 30+ pounds after he realizes that the child support won't come back for a long time and that her overpriced house won't sell. She is currently on welfare and drinking cheap wine.
The county decides that it needs to reduce its prison population due to reduced tax revenue and lets go off all non-violent offenders which includes all pot smokers and non-child support payors.
Chumpy realizes he is free at last, gets in shape, assumes a new identity and is currently living somewhere in Eastern Europe with a hot 22 year old and decides to never get married, have kids, or buy real estate again.
Former wifey, moves back with aging parents and is currently on prozac. The kids are in foster care.
Chumpy wins!
Every time you post this I cannot help but watch it again and again. Mainly for the head bob that witch gives her wishy washy wimp if a husband. I'll bet he hasn't gotten laid since she pushed out the last brat.
"Fatso is Dead.
He killed himself by overeating cheese doodles and fried dough with sugared cola at Wal-Mart.
Massive hear attack with diabetic overtones.
Wife is currently shopping for New Husband-Sucker using the line 'We can do this" in the personal ad...
www.nomarriage.com
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HA! See, I knew I wasn't the only one who thinks that way about marriage. In your face, bitches!
But yeah, Fatso is probaby dead or living in a box by now. That's what happens when you let a woman emasculate you with her nagging. You've got to be a man, put your foot down, and say "NO!"
I simply can't get enough of this masterpiece! My favorite part is Fatty drunkenly slurring "didja see the size of that garage?" at the end of the commercial.
After the ARM reset to 11% Fatty hung himself in that garage. Unless his viper wife poisoned him first to collect the life insurance.
Suzanne is hustling cheap blow jobs on Craigslist.
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