March 9, 2010

2006, just as housing started an epic and historic collapse. Suzanne from Century 21: "This listing is special John. You guys can do this!"



Now fast-forward to today's conversation:

Husband: "Our home dropped 50%, we're $300,000 below water, you've lost your job at the bank, we've blown through our savings, and we can't even short sale this debt trap!"

Wife: "I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO BUY THIS HOUSE YOU FAT IDIOT! WHY DID I EVER LET YOU TALK ME INTO IT! I HATE YOU! AND I'M SLEEPING WITH YOUR BROTHER!"


Ring, ring, ring, ring

On speakerphone, it's Suzanne

Suzanne: "Hi guys, it's Suzanne!!! How is my favorite couple doing? Ready to trade up to a nicer home?"

(sound of gunfire erupts)




(hint - realtors aren't superheroes. never forget.)


32 comments:

Tray Deee said...

Are these people the symptom or the cause?

Anonymous said...

"Year round golf and pro athletes!"

Greg Swann

Pissed in New York said...

Keith would you believe those used salespeople whores here STILL say 'it's different here'. Shameless pigs.

BTW, was checking out your 'super hero' post, looks like their chat site is now closed to outside comments, so now it's nothing but a cluster-f*ck circle of self-serving delusion.

casey said...

No problem, just do a short sale and let the bank take the losses so they can get more bailout tarp money.I think the real losers are the people who did not participate in the great housing bull run.Your credit dont mean shit.You can buy a house immediately following a short sale and 3 years for a foreclosure.Play the game folks and quit kissing the banks ass.Get some balls and participate and this phony economy.Learn to think like the crooks on wall street.

borkafatty aka the pig said...

ah, suzanne.

the gift that keeps on giving. epic marketing fail.

Anonymous said...

Wife: "I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO BUY THIS HOUSE YOU FAT IDIOT! WHY DID I EVER LET YOU TALK ME INTO IT!...

...{gunfire erupts}..."


You're the best, Keith.

The very few times the cuntry is able to shake off it's autistic catatonia, that is EXACTLY the 'tude we see...

First they laugh at you, then they fight you, then they claim they

knew it all along...

Anonymous said...

.


Thank God for Realtors!

Because every time I view a home for sale, it never fails, as we are walking into whatever room the Realtor say's, "well this is the kitchen" or "this is the master bath"...

If it wasn't for them we wouldn't know where we were.


.

Pay Lay Ale said...

Ron Shuffield, president of Esslinger-Wooten-Maxwell Realtors says that "South Florida is working off of a totally new economic model than any of us have ever experienced in the past." He predicts that a limited supply of land coupled with demand from baby boomers and foreigners will prolong the boom indefinitely.

"I just don't think we have what it takes to prick the bubble," said Diane C. Swonk, chief economist at Mesirow Financial in Chicago, who was an optimist during the 90's. "I don't think prices are going to fall, and I don't think they're even going to be flat."

Randy said...

Truly funny..

Me thinks we are not there yet, median income can still not afford median house. P/E ratio of rent-cost is still out of whack.

The trillions pumped into the system has only been able to slow down the inevitable.

It is really amazing that with all the immense support from the Treasury and the Fed, historic low interest rates, purchases of most mortgages from the original lenders, FHA loans, $8,000 tax credits, extreme low down payment incentives, tons of 'green update' tax incentives, all kinds of pressure on lenders to go easy on collecting committed debt and huge open and hidden housing inventory.

And all thats been achieved is a forced delay to natural market house values.

Never mind improving the situation.

All this for what?

escrow mama said...

SNL might be interested in that script.

RipeDurian said...

Still has the power to make skin crawl.

So many levels of pure evil.

SeattleMoose said...

This one never gets old....

Yet again the "typical white male" portrayed as a quivering fat spineless wimp.

WASP males are the only group that has to just "take it" without Johnny Cochran, the National Defamation League, or some other politically correct "watchdog" group coming to our defense.

Pass the chips while I loosen my Snuggy a bit around the middle.

Deucebag said...

Well, since first visiting HP in 2006, my friends in Florida who bought and investment property upon the insistence of his wife who got into the RE business, declared bankruptcy, lost the investment property and are now divorced.

I, the renter, had to move because my LL was not paying the mortgage. The bank paid for us to move so they could get the property back ASAP - this is in DC "where prices will not go down because of the federal government."

425K for a townhouse?! Still crazy, but I guess that is better than the $625K the LL paid in 2005.

HAHAHA!!!

Anonymous said...

god I want to pimp slap the wife in that commercial

yoski said...

Oh this is awesome!
Today, 4 years later, those numb skulls are foreclosed, divorced and broke. Good job everybody!
The only one that came out ahead is Suzanne, 'cos for a realtor any time is a good time to collect commission.

Anonymous said...

Remember this one...

"Real Estate never goes down"

Greg Swann
David Crisp
Suzanne
David Crisp
Greg Swann
Laurence Yun
Greg Swann
Kendra Todd
Joe Pryor
Greg Swann
David Lereah
Donald Trump
Greg Swann
Rob Kiyosaki
Suzi Orman
Jim Cramer
Greg Swann
The Orange Man
Alphonso Jackson
Turbo Tim

Everyone who bought a house with no money down from 2003-2007 EVERYONE!

I case I forgot...Greg Swann!

RayNLA

Anonymous said...

Brainwashing bastards!

Anonymous said...

what a sick, sick, sick! f@cking commercial! I still feel gross after all this time and need a shower now. thanks Keith!
-JDF

edgar said...

Suzanne: Hi guys! How's my favorite couple? Hey John, I'm turning tricks now, are you interested in my super-low rates?

John: Naw, my wife's sister does me for free.

Fruity Pebbles said...

Ohhh, Thank God you and Suzanne are back!

Stuck in So Pa said...

On a side note Keith (be nice to have the monthly general comments thread back up again,) this web site is great to get the blood boiling. Greedy, incompetent banks are seizing everything that's nailed down or not, WHETHER THEY OWN IT OR NOT!

http://4closurefraud.org/

I know I needed my blood pressure medicine after about two minutes.

Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Suzanne should be waterboarded then sent to gitmo.

on your Greg Swann list of people you forgor Connie DeGrout the crackhead stripper...

Bukko Canukko said...

Real estate salespigs -- what a waste of society's human resources they are!

How many millions of people are there in America (and Canada and Australia, too) flogging used houses? They could be doing something better with their time. Seriously! The fact that their talent, however much or little they have, is focused on fleecing home-buyers, is a mis-allocation of human capital.

How many good new products are being invented that languish in the warehouse because there aren't enough people pushing for new customers to buy them? Putting cynicism about unnecessary new stuff aside, you can have a great idea that goes nowhere because "creatives" are not often natural "sellers."

I tried sales jobs a few times when I was young and starting my work career. I sucked at it. I couldn't put my heart behind pitching anything I didn't believe in strongly, and there's not many items that fit that bill for me. (I'm GREAT at selling myself when I need to find a new job or a new country to live in, though.)

But the Suzannes of this world are good at making the pitch. Who knows if they believe what they're saying? Who cares? Their job is to sell stuff, like whores on the street corner. And just like street whores, it's a nasty job, but somebody's gotta sell. (Except in Australia, where prostitution is legal and there are bordellos all over the place, with few street hookers, but that's another story.)

If Suzanne, Greg Swann, Joe Pryor and their ilk (maybe that should be "their bilk") were out there selling the latest new widget, instead of puffing up the housing bubble, maybe more good innovations would be getting into consumers' hands. But nooooooo, they had to do the useless sales job instead...

phx hillbilly said...

I saw greg swann in phoenix wiping asses at a rest home.How the mighty have fallen.

Angry Leprechaun said...

Suzanne is a Superhero!

What happened to Joe?

Mark in San Diego said...

Totally agree with Casy - "learn to think like the crooks on Wall Street." . . .sell that stucco shitbox on a shortsale, then buy something else from a developer at a bargain rate, and get the cheap loans now being offered by FHA . . . 2 percent down, etc. I see signs all over San Diego offering 2 or 3 percent FHA approved loans on new projects. . .there is no responsibility anyplace anymore, so just go for it. When the country finally collapses, at least you will have a place to live with a cheap government loan. . .when inflation is 200 percent a year, you can pay off the mortgage with chump change.

Anonymous said...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_economy_grinds_to_halt_as

AMIGAUSER said...

AT LEAST GREG SWANN CHANGED HIS MIND

WHEN WILL KEITH READ THE CLIMATEGATE EMAILS AND REALIZE HE HAS BEEN DUPED?

Tahoe said...

I wish this commercial was reality TV. What I wouldn't give to see a "where they are today" update.

Anonymous said...

http://www.10news.com/news/22804088/detail.html

Nothing's been proven yet. Superheroes my ass.

soft landing said...

Keith, You will love this:

http://condovultures.com/

Check out the rentals.

Anonymous said...

Question for hiring any realtor:

May I please have a few referrals from 2005-6?