March 3, 2010

A special note to all current and former Hummer owners. Go f*ck yourselves.


History will not be kind.

Funny in a sick way how many realtors and mortgage brokers bought Hummers, eh?

Please join me in spitting on any of 'em that you see.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

May I suggest FUH2.com

Anonymous said...

I will gladly join in. However, I am usually so overcome with side-splitting laughter when seeing these tanks in flat FLA that my spit level may be insufficient.

FCJOHN said...

this scourge made its way out to colorado as well

Colorado Hawaiian Shirt Guy

FCJohn

Bukko Canukko said...

Please join me in spitting on any of 'em that you see.

Another reason why I like you, Keith! I've been doing that for years, especially when I'm riding by one on my bicycle. Easier to get away if one of the drivers gets mad and tries to give chase, although none ever has. They know they're lumbering cows, and I'm sure they're accustomed to feeling the hate.

It's still surprising that in Vancouvistan, which likes to think of itself as eco-greenie, the ratio of Hummers to Priuses on the roads is about 1:1. (That's when you take out the taxi Priuses, which make up about 2/3 of the cab-car stock.) The number of Hummers is higher in the Yuppie McMansion section I live in than it is downtown, of course, but it shows there's a lot of gasoholic greedheads even in a supposedly earth-sensitive place like West Coast Canada.

Anonymous said...

Just some of the last debaucheristic convulsions of a sick society that doesn't know it is dead yet.

Other countries already have better schools, better manufacturing jobs, and a stronger currency than us. Just wait until they also have a better navy and nuclear missile program. Then we will be OVER--just like russia, only for the opposite reasons. Russia chose taking care of its citizens over profitable efficiency. We chose profit over taking care of our population. (Both chose war, or at least war toys, for profit.)

Ross said...

I always get a good chuckle when I see one of these hunks of metal on the road.

Can you imagine what they will look like choking and wheezing their way down Scottsdale road in 5 years?? HA!

Angry Leprechaun said...

Some other point Joe:

1. Interest rates need to go back up. I am not interested in floating anymore credit on low interest rates that promote spending money people do not have by using worthless services from guys like you.

2. I do not believe you are where you are being a superhero by beomg ethical. No way, no how!

Angry Leprechaun said...

Joe said, "I have had no short sales on any home unless the greedy investors who wanted to get rich quick in Vegas, Phoenix, or Florida went for short term gains, went with negative am loans, and ended up screwing themselves and lost all their properties."

Boy this is fun! The above statement is so unethical and immoral I don’t know where in the larger perspective to start. So you say you did not agree with negam loans but you sold them to investors anyways. This is main issues Joe. If guys like you did not push greedy investing then we would not have had a bunch of crap built for no reason in Vegas, Phoenix, and areas of Florida. You made a shitload of money on the building of what are now ghost towns. Now you are selling the same stuff again, probably a lot of which has never been lived in. because of you we had a bunch of construction workers who made a bunch of money building shit they never should have built, to take their paychecks and buy shit (houses, cars, boats, vacations) they never should have bought in the first place. Are you catching on yet Joe? You helped fuel this faux economy we had the last ten years, and now you say you are a “superhero” trying to clean up this mess. You really are a fucking idiot.
Where is Andrew Hack when you need the guy?

casey said...

I saw greg swann in phoenix crusing a hummer with some ho's.

Anonymous said...

I got a nice greener on the tip of my Tongue!

Gary Near Death Valley said...

IN 2004, I purchased a Toyota Prius, and every single time I would be at a stop light, and a Hummer was next to me I would burst out laughing, and point at it. Laughing even larger now!!!

Anonymous said...

No!

Actually it's Go F**k yourselves you Prius drivin Fags!

Environmental Snakeoil Horseshit!


Where is AL Gore?

.

Anonymous said...

The hummers or the realtors?

Anonymous said...

you're not spitting on anyone dork.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of vehicles how is your car keith? Did you sell it after your last trip?

RayNLA

keith said...

RayNLA funny you should ask. I left the little guy in Poland for 4 months while I was travelling. Came back and of course not only was it in a snow cave but didn't start (I knew it wouldn't). Got it going, and drove it back here, where it'll be parked again for who knows how long. Ran like a charm though.

It's fun going to the petrol station and thumbing around for loose change to pay the tab too.

No hummers over here. The worst I see is an SUV, but not many. With gas at $6+ a gallon, and no space to drive or park a big car, it just doesn't make sense. But when I was back in Arizona a bit ago, it was shocking to see the number of Hummers. I guess their realtor and mortgage broker owners couldn't get rid of em.

Talk about getting it both ways - they can't sell 'em, they can't afford to drive 'em. Bet most of 'em will just walk away, like they did with their houses too.

Anonymous said...

I may not direct total scorn on H1 owners, those are real. H2's if I remember correctly were built on Suburban chassis. H3's please...

My 3/4 ton diesel truck pulling a 12k pound trailer can equal or beat an unladen Hummer for fuel economy.

The most worthless vehicle I have ever seen in my life was a HUT, the Hummer truck. Jacked up so that the bed had to be 5 feet off the ground. (I was in my Escort behind it at a stop light looking up at the bed. It did have two really bitchin' chrome tow shackles hanging from the bumper.) Tell me what that is useful for? Throw a bag of cat litter up there skippy.

Banana Republicrat said...

A guy in my neighborhood used to parallel park an H2 on the street (in the big city). Sure he has adequacy issues and probably shouldn't have bought a car that expensive w/o also buying a place to park it, but I've got to hand it to him on his parking skills!

************

"Environmental Snakeoil Horseshit!" --whether you buy global warming or not why would you be against getting better mileage or reducing US dependence on foreign oil? Maybe the oil we're buying is snakeoil too, no?

Honica Jewinski said...

Why do Escalades, Navigaters, etc get a pass?????

Like was mentioned earlier, real Hummers are nearly identical to their military HumVee couterparts.

The Hummers you see infesting the roads today (H2's) are just Tahoes with differnt springs and sheet metal.

They are no better or worse than suburbans, tahoes, escalades, navigaters, expeditions, excursions, durangos or grand cherokees. Except, of course, for the durango, grand cherokee, or any other chrysler product being complete and total pieces of shit.

the dude said...

same goes for toyota land cruisers, nissan patrols, mercedes G and GLs right? oh and S class AMG etc....samemileage as a hummer....

escrow mama said...

FCJOHN- I've seen that POS Hummer in Loveland. I've also had that POS Sean at my closing table. Both deserve major spit.

Anonymous said...

The outrage: http://www.fuh2.com/

Anonymous said...

Absolutely too funny. Read this post last night and lo & behold if a 60 year old Botox queen comes driving up to my furniture store, bedecked in gold chains and those cheesy big round glasses and steps out of a H3 decked out with her realty company logo all over.

When she came in she asked me why I was smiling so much.....

Anonymous said...

FCJOHN said...

this scourge made its way out to colorado as well

Colorado Hawaiian Shirt Guy"


Please Take One

...on my hood.

too much rope said...

Yes, some other SUVs may get bad gas mileage and be oversized...but it's always seemed like Hummer drivers were a special kind of asshole.

As a country bumpkin, it always busts me up to see these wealthy Americans driving a para-military vehicle with a flag on the back, like that means shit when there's some 19 yr old grunt back from Iraq, driving a 10 yr old Civic and trying to figure out how to stay off food stamps while these Hummer drivers are ready to run you off the road while playing the Star-Spangled Banner on their Dolby surround sound. Like I said, a special kind of asshole...

Anonymous said...

What the 'F' Do you care?

You didn't pay for it!

You ain't payin for the gas and insurance!

Anonymous said...

To all you Obama Communists




Ever heard of FREEDOM of CHOICE!

Many have fought and died for your right to Bitch and complain!

If you don't want to buy or drive one... DON'T

Just don't think you have the right to tell me what to drive!


GOD has blessed Amerika... but for how much longer?

.



.

Prisoner No. 6 said...

Anyone remember how, back in '02, some right-wing Republican flag-wavers were going around talking sh!t like "To criticize a Hummer is to be unpatriotic." All the boards were full of dimwits screeching about how it was their god-given right to drive around in the fattest, most gas-guzzling P.O.S. that they could lay their trailer-trash lardfingers on.

Everytime I see one of those lumbering through traffic, I yell "Sorry 'bout your penis!" out the window at them. Bonus points for the laughter I get at seeing my dimwit neighbor's Hummer stuck in the driveway, tires slowly flattening, because since he's lost his job in the mortgage broker biz, he can't afford to put gas in the tank. Last I heard, he's applying for a job in a costume at Six Flags.

Of course, he blames Obama for all his problems.

Anonymous said...

Hey it is a free Country you bunch of creeps. And as much as I hate Hummers and Prius, you have to the right to buy it as long as you can afford it.

too much rope said...

To the Anon who mentioned that "you have the right to buy it as long as you can afford it." - Yes, I believe that brings up back to the very beginning of the problem, that the last 10 years + have all been based on monopoly money instead of any real wealth. That's why I've heard the joke more than once that they shouldn't scrap Hummers because the jackasses that bought one are going to be the same ones who are going to have to live in the damn thing when their McMansion gets foreclosed on.

You, my friend, are an unintentional genius.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

What the 'F' Do you care? You didn't pay for it! You ain't payin for the gas and insurance!"


Perhaps this one is unaware of how supply and demand affect price; like of gasoline. Free market and such.

A big herd of these fatasses guzzling it down means I pay more for it too.

Thanks, fatass.

Conversely, more tree-huggers putting around in high-mpg cars means fatass pays less.

Is fatass grateful when he's not whining about what a victim he is?

Anonymous said...

.



Well if these Hummers are guzzling it up and raising the prices...

then the Fags drivin the Prius's are offsetting it by their fuel efficiency


Supply and demand
.

Anonymous said...

You geniuses do realize that the chassis of the Hummer is the same as some of the Chevy/GMC pick-ups

And there are a Hell of a lot more pick-ups around...why not give them S**T too!

Anonymous said...

The percentage of Hummers on the road to any other vehicle is very small